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The Bomb Shelter:

Movie Etiquette


You know, the thing about Coca-Cola is that no matter how many you've had to drink, or how little thirst you may have, it never hurts to have another... That is, until you're dehydrated by the fact that you drink ONLY Coke. So, my butt was a little under the weather today, fighting my cravings for another soda. Water... yummy.

Last movie I saw was Tears of the Sun, which I will be reviewing soon, but there were some things about the audience I couldn't help but notice. Everybody still talks when the movie starts. They still keep their cell phones on. They still insist on bringing babies. Why haven't people figured out what Movie Etiquette is? Why do people insist on breaking all of these unwritten rules? You don't bring babies to any movie, you don't chat it up on your phone in the middle of the flick, and you never talk. These things not only ruin the movie; they piss others to no end. I've shushed people, given dirty looks, even once reached the poing of yelling at someone. People just don't get it. Forcing people to shut up and leave their cell phones out of the theater is going a little far, but I'm sure that these theaters can make it a rule that no one under that age of 3 should be allowed into a theater. I mean, if you're not going to give me the satifaction of muzzling those that seem to think everyone wants to hear their clever jokes during the film, at least keep the baby's from crying.

Anyway, let's do this thing. If you don't know the rules, it's this simple. I tell you about a movie, I tell you what I think, and then I give you one of our five Smart-Popcorn.com ratings: Smart Popcorn, Candy Corn, Wry Cobb, Plain Ol' Popcorn, and of course, the Dull Seed. Here we go.

Yet another Stephen King book brought to life, this time by director Lawrence Kasdan starring film legend Morgan Freeman and up and comer Jason Lee. The story tells of four friends on an annual hunting trip where nothing is as it seems. I have to admit, the hype of this movie has been pretty strong, and with the mass confusion over what this movie truly is about, I'm sure it's going to catch a lot of people by suprise. I'm personally looking forward to getting to see this one finally. However, if you haven't read the book and you're not sure what to expect (like me), it's going to be hard scanning this one. You gotta look at the facts. Morgan Freeman is a seasoned actor who's always a treat. Jason Lee is really starting to come into his own (despite the flop he had with Stealing Harvard). Then, we come to the dirctor, Lawrence Kasdan, whose last real hit was The Bodyguard. All in all, it's got the potential to shine and the chance to suck.
Forecast: Candy Corn

A View From The Top
Gwenyth Paltrow stars as a young girl trying to escape her dull life in small-town by reaching her goal of becoming a flight attendant, also starring Mike Myers. Ladies and gents, this film is your basic "small town escape/love story", and not very well done either. It's cliché, it's got a popular star, and nothing else but a lousy script and a bunch of character parts. What happened, Gwen? You looked to be the next shining star of Hollywood, and now you're stuck in films that no one even watches for you! Find something respectable, and find something good, quick. Before you know it, your name will be forgotten to anyone with the script you're looking for. If anything saves this flick, it's going to be Myers.
Forecast: Dull Seed

Boat Trip
Cuba Gooding Jr. and Horatio Sanz are two good buddies down on their luck in love. Classic comedy scenario of a man put into a bad situation while still managing to find love along the way. This could be a lot funnier than A View From The Top, so if you're looking for comedy this week, I'd go with this one. Plus, we finally get to see Horatio Sanz of Saturday Night Live in a much larger role.
Forecast: Plain Ol' Popcorn

On The Radar:
Basic (March 28th), Phone Booth (April 4th), and Anger Management (April 11th).

Author: The Gnome (Billy Dal Porto) · 735 Words · Published: 17 March 2003
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