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Sellout & Proud:

DVD Monogamy

 

If the world was ideal, I would write my rant article once a week. Also, socialism would run rampant, free kegs would be delivered to my door, and more people would understand the concept of "dating." I could find time to do everything I wanted, and there would only be the need for one Special Edition DVD per movie. I mean, I bitch so much, you figure that I could write a rant column on time. Right??? Well, I am busy. Ladies... Gentlemen, destiny awaits.

Ahhh... Here's something everyone ought to think about: What is implied by the term "dating" and when is it not just dating anymore? Can you date too many people? Is this wrong to do? I, myself, ponder these questions, but let me specify my own beliefs. When you are just "dating" someone, you are entitled to date others. I say this because some people tend to feel cheated when the person they date is dating another. If you are not specifically titled with "exclusive" on your forehead, it is stupid and immature to monopolize someone.

Ideally, you just date someone to get to know them, there is no implications that anything else will occur. You go on a date, you don't like them, you don't call them again and there is no misunderstanding or pain. Seemingly, people don't understand the terminology, because they start calling every day and saying they "love you" after three weeks. Anyone that thinks they love someone after knowing them for a month or less is a tweaker. Said people need counseling. Love is not to be fallen in and out of so quickly. At least, that's my opinion on the thing. You can date multiple people, though I would say date no more than three at a time, because it's confusing. Call me Dr. Ruth.

Speaking of multiple partners... Why do they release so many damned special edition versions to each movie? Here's the answer, they're money grubbing bitches. Why can't they just release the materials from the special edition, the collectors edition, the ultimate fucking collectors edition, and the free Hooch version in the first place, you ask? Because they are rushing to get the original DVD out to those eager to buy it! They put out a second version with more special features on it so they can get some of the less interested people to buy it, and hopefully repeat purchases from the people who are intensely in love with the movie. Then, they break out the collectors edition so the remaining obsessed people will decide to go out and buy it. (This release includes one more deleted scene that's five seconds long and slightly different packaging). Next, they decide to bring the price down to $9.99 at Best Buy (free plug) and you all have realized what suckers you are. (Myself, included.) Lastly, they bring out the box set and raise the prices to excrutiating limits. So, I say: "Fuck them!" For stupid-ass examples, see: American Beauty, Lord of the Rings, and the whole Evil Dead series.

..and that's this week's rant.

Send your fucking hatemail to Dante@smart-popcorn.com.

Author: Dante 522 Words Published: 16 March 2003
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