2005 Movie Review Song

[TremontiSlash]

I was bored and i made this up. This is basically Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire, only i changed the lyrics to review 2005 movies. I thought i did ok, but my efforts werent that strong since i was bored. My g/f thought it was cute, so i dunno lol

Sith lords roasting like an open fire,
Batman punched me in the nose,
Yellow balls were ripped with ambitious desire,
And penquins are more awesome than eskimos.

Everybody knows Kong ripped off limbs of hoes,
To show his uncompromising might,
Fantastic Four and Elektra surely did blow,
While Wonka was as high as a kite.

Romero's zombies are on their way,
Viggo had some mobsters to slay,
Aniston wishes she had a spy,
To see Angelina opens Brad's fly.

While Millions saw Cruise's behavior in display,
Aliens slaughtered thousands plus ninty two,
Voldemort loses everytime in many ways,
Phoenix walked the line to you!


Happy Holidays Everyone
_________________
Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain.
For we received orders for to sail back to Boston
And soon never more will we see you again.
~ Quint (Jaws)

[Thom]

Here's a Batman-themed poem I'd long ago meant to turn into a flash animation.

How the Joker (Almost) Stole Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and in the nuthouse,
Everyone slept in fear of that damn flying mouse.
But I sat in my bed, hoping that soon,
Harley Quinn would bust in and break free this loon.

The guards were leaned back in their seats with tipped hats,
While the patients all dreamt of getting back at ol' Bats.
And I, in my cell with its four padded walls
Sang a carol in my head that I called "Burn the Halls"!

When the Gotham cathedrel bells started to chime,
I knew 'twas my cue, that it was nearly time.
And in that very moment, I let slip a flinch
As the bars from my window were torn out by a winch.

Halfway out, I was greeted: "Like the gift, Mr. J?"
And I spotted Harley Quinn sitting in Santa's sleigh.
I asked where St. Nick was; she replied, "In the back.
I hijacked this baby and stuffed him in the sack."

Turning back to Arkham, a stroke of brilliance hit me.
I could emancipate the inmates and take them all with me.
"Get me closer!" I told Harley, as my growing smile beamed.
The reindeer brought the sleigh around, and once in range I screamed:

"Now, TWO-FACE! Now, SCARECROW! Now, IVY for the trees!
Come, MAN-BAT! And let's not forget MR. FREEZE!
Let's go out and wreak havoc! Wild will we run!
On second thought... I think I'll hog all the fun!

"Let's go, snookums! It's time to deliver toys
And smiles to the faces of Gotham's girls and boys!
Under the tree they'll find a present that's first-class:
Little jack-in-the-boxes filled with my laughing gas!"

But as the sleigh pulled out, I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I turned to find the Dark Knight coming at me like a boulder.
I frowned, best as I could, and Harley cried a tear.
Batman grinned, "Once again, it's coal for you this year."

He freed Claus from the sack and returned him the sleigh,
Then he brought us inside as St. Nick flew away.
"Merry Christmas," he said, dragging me to my cell.
"Bah, humbug!" I cried. "You can all go to hell!"