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Nate
Earned his PhD in Boll-istics
   
Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 414
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 07 Dec 2005 04:10 pm
Post subject: Uwe Boll article updated |
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I just submitted the last movie I had yet to see from Uwe Boll's filmography, Sanctimony. Still bad, though not as bad as most. Ah, it feels good to be done, that is, until Bloodrayne opens in a month.
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Macabre Stalker
Corn-Star
Joined: 07 Oct 2003
Posts: 641
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07 Dec 2005 06:14 pm
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| I put it back at the top of the page. Unfortunately our "second look" announcement is reserved only for Reviews...which I need to start taking advantage of. I keep freaking forgetting to. I'm going to start doing that dammit. |
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Nate
Earned his PhD in Boll-istics
Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 414
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07 Dec 2005 08:20 pm
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Bottom, top, where ever, I'm just happy to have it completed. Thanks for the push.
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Reel Monkey
Corn-Star
Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 1121
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12 Dec 2005 05:28 am
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so... with your new addition, if you could rank his movies from best to worst, what would you suggest? and if you had to recommend one movie to really showcase Uwe Boll as a director period (for good or bad, it doesn't matter)... what would you choose?
RM
Btw... I just saw a huge cardboard cutout promoting Bloodrayne at our theatre. hahaha!!!
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Playing the world's smallest violin while nothing burns. |
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Nate
Earned his PhD in Boll-istics
Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 414
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12 Dec 2005 09:26 am
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Yeah, in about a few weeks I'll have to update the article yet again.
Best to Worst Boll films would be:
Alone in the Dark (F)
House of the Dead (D)
Blackwoods (D)
Sanctimony (C-)
Heart of America (C)
I'd hate to say it, but I feel like House of the Dead is really the perfect example of Uwe Boll as a director, for better or worse. Alone in the Dark would work as well.
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Reel Monkey
Corn-Star
Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 1121
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12 Dec 2005 01:20 pm
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how about some Boll haikus? 
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Thom
Captain Tightpants
  
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Location: Mesa, AZ
Posts: 1117
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12 Dec 2005 01:51 pm
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"House of the Dead"
Ev'ryone die, please.
Game footage better than film.
Clint Howard's big break. |
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Nate
Earned his PhD in Boll-istics
Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 414
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01 Jan 2006 09:09 pm
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I found this review of Alone in the Dark on Amazon. I swear, it may have been written by Uwe Boll himself.
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Ok, first off. I went threw and read about 80 reviews on Amazon about alone in the dark and I'm wandering did they even watch the movie. The dialogue was ok good in parts and some times a little long.(especially the part when the main guy tells the little kid there are monster in real life and they can hurt you. Cheesy but different) But the action was good. Main point this is a action movie doesn't have to be based on drama, want drama go watch a chick flick. IF you want to see people get killed by monsters check out this movie. You want great dialogue go see Doctor Zhivago or Gone with Wind) Want see Tara Redid half naked see this movie. (Its a guy thing nods).
The gun fire alone and seeing people get killed makes you happy watch this movie. This movie is based of a dark video game called alone in the dark first off the monsters attack on island some where in the Atlantic and not a gold mine. There was zombies in the game and in the movie there was alien controlled humans guess you could called them zombies so that's sprit of the game. The weapons in the movie where not like the game but again the bullet time makes up for it. Just would been nice see the double revolver from the game in the movie that christan Slater should have had. They didn't follow the game hardly but still kept with the sprit of alone in the dark to a degree. Making it a pretty good action movie over all. There was great shots at the mines with the creatures attacking the government troops and taking down the helicopters that rocked. The part with the blonde guy (head of the NSA) going back blowing the mines interesting but, I'm glad he got blow up. He ticket me off. Over all I enjoy the movie its best action movie that came out in 2005. I must also say the extra on the DVD is nice including the music videos of Nightwish send me Angel rocked. So if get a chance and looking for good old fashington action, check out this movie. I dare ya. |
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Reel Monkey
Corn-Star
Joined: 03 Oct 2003
Posts: 1121
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01 Jan 2006 09:35 pm
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I bet they were like 12. what horrible writing! hahah!
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Biscuit King
Seedling
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 8
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03 Jan 2006 05:06 pm
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Who makes these bad films?
Come to my parlour, eat some cheese,
Far Cry will suck balls.
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Biscuit King
Seedling
Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Posts: 8
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10 Jan 2006 05:30 pm
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Yes I know, Double post...
But I watched the trailer for the Dungeon Seige film today.
Jason from The Transporter goes around saying "I will have my venagance". Jesus wept.
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